ABBA Canada - Marie & Martin - $2,000 Grant Recipients

For those of you that have adopted or are in the process, you know how scary the paperwork and numbers can become.  For us the financial side is overwhelming.  However, we have had some amazing support that has made it possible for us to bring Jackson home.  One organization, ABBA Canada had been especially generous.  They offer adoption grants.  These grants are only possible with your support.  What you may not know is that ABBA Canada is the only organization in Canada the currently offers adoption grants.  This is a huge deal for us and we want to support ABBA in any possible way we can.  Would you join us in supporting this wonderful organization that is working hard to bring children home to their forever families? Thanks so much!!

ABBA Canada - Marie & Martin - $2,000 Grant Recipients

What "Adjusting Well" Looks Like

As I mentioned in my last post, I had an almost 9 hour layover in Vancouver.  It was long.  However, I was blessed to have 3 of my sister-in-laws...well 2 sister-in-laws and one soon to be sister-in-law, which we are incredibly excited about!!...meet me at the airport.  It was wonderful chatting with them and catching up...seeing Alison's lovely baby bump in person.  That girl rocks that baby bump and simply glows!  A great big "thank you" to Alison, Lu, and Darlene.  I so appreciate the effort.  It is a long drive just to see a tired lady and her little man for a few hours. :)

 

I also want to take the time to publicly thank all the people that helped Martin out while I was in China.  Thanks to those that watched the kids, weeded my garden, picked and processed my peas, beans and raspberries and left meals.  I do not know how to adequately thank you...it has meant the world to us! 

 

Thanks also to those that have brought meals and baking since I arrived home.  It has been a live saver!!  It has been so wonderful to have a home cooked meal after dragging my feet through another day. 

 

As I've mentioned before, Jackson is adjusting well.  Please do not interpret that to mean that everything is honky dory!  Cause it's not!  Adjusting well means that he is grieving.  He is crying.  A lot.  Mostly at night.  Sometimes for hours at a time.  It also means that he has taken a shine to his Daddy.  In fact he will rather go to his Daddy than to me.  It means he loves playing in the sandbox with his sisters.  It means he loves all the attention from his big brothers.  It means he hates the pool some days cause he's not too sure about all the splashing.  It means he is testing his boundaries.  It means he refuses to eat the foods we know he loves.  It means lots of crying at meal time cause the food isn't coming fast enough.  It means he has days of whining.  It means there is more sadness than joy. 

 

When another child joins our home it also means that all my other kids are adjusting.  The first few days are usually pretty good.  Everyone is excited with this new addition.  After about a week someone notices that she/he is getting less attention and begins to seek ways to get attention.  Always negative of coarse.  This means I spend a LOT of time dealing with misbehaviour from my other kids.  Lots of time outs.  Lots of "I'm sorry."  Lots of redirecting.  It is exhausting!! 

 

It also means that I am making every effort to ensure that each child FEELS loved, accepted, adored and valuable.  This means I have to be very creative cause it's usually not good enough to do this with another sibling around.  It too is exhausting!

 

And then I want time with my hubby.  Even though I've been home for 2 weeks, I still miss him!  We try to sneak in some "us" time after the kids are in bed, but that means staying up way later than we would like.  And that too is exhausting.

 

HOWEVER...

(trust me it is this "however" that keeps me going.  That helps me through another day.)

 

We've been here before.  We know the drill...although it doesn't make it easier.  Just more bearable.  We have a bit of an idea what to expect.  We see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We know that in about 3 months we will be able to breath a little more easily.  The meltdowns will lessen.  Jackson will be sleeping better.  We also know that in about 6 months this new normal will feel like it fits.  In fact it will feel very "right" and wonderful!

 

In fact, in 6 months my house should be cleaner...honestly that is one of the biggest things that causes me stress.  Mock me.  Tell me to let it go.  Tell me to relax.  But guess what?  It's who  I am.  It's how I'm wired.  I have relaxed a lot, let go of a lot, and am still learning to do more of that.  However, there is nothing that says peace and calm like an organized household.  For me, it saves time, money and meltdowns (usually from me ;).  It makes my world feel right, safe, and perfect.

 

So...if I tell you we are adjusting well...please don't forget to pray.  We still need it.  A LOT! 

PS:  Last night Jackson only cried once!!!  And I slept!  Yah!  He really likes having his Daddy at home and sleeps better after a day of having Daddy home. Jackson gets stressed when we run errands and I leave the vehicle.  So we are still trying to stay at home as much as possible.

Jackson's Homecoming

 

Finally!  A few moments to complete this blog post.  There are moments where I have so much I want to tell you, but no time.  And then when I finally have 10 minutes before crashing into bed, I'm too exhausted.

 

The youngest 2 are tucked in for their nap and Malia is having quiet time.  The boys are off in the bush working on their fort. (I'll post on that at a later date.) I so love watching them work hard to create their own man cave.

 

 

For those of you that have travelled to China, you know it is a brutal trip.  I left Beijing at 4pm, flew 11 1/2 hours, had an 8 3/4 hour layover and then a 2 hour flight to Saskatoon.  By the time we drove the 1/2 hour ride home and had everyone tucked into bed it was 2 am and I had been awake for 32 hours, with a few short naps.  However, arriving home to a crowd always makes my steps a little lighter and gives me that little boost of energy that I so desperately need.

 

My friend Chantal generously took photos of Martin and the kids meeting Jackson for the first time and of the crowd that waited to welcome us home.  Her photos are incredible!  Thanks so much Chantal!

 

 

Waiting....

 



Trying to catch the first glimpse...

 



I was a crying mess by the time I arrived, having cried on the last leg of the flight.  Travelling to China on my own to meet Jackson is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  Looking back, I am amazed at how well absolutely every aspect of my time in China was.  I tend to focus on my goal and only my goal and that is what helped me through the long 2 weeks.  I know many, many people were praying for us and I could literally feel God's wings of protection and strength every day.  Thank you so much for all of you for praying.

 



 

Jackson has completely warmed up to his Daddy and siblings.  In fact, I am convinced that had Martin travelled to China, Jackson would not have bonded with me so well.  Even while in China, he tended to gravitate towards men. 

He seems to have a real connection with Alex, which is kind of cool.  Alex is usually the one that is most afraid of all the changes and worries about how his sibling will like him.  To me it is another way that God has blessed us...another answer to prayer.

 



Love this shoot!  Not too sure about meeting Lyndon.  I'm sure these two will have a lot of fun together  get into a lot of mischief together.

 



This shirt makes me laugh!  It was worn very intentionally to convey Martin's thoughts...and to let the world know he truly is a redneck! 



My friend Chantal...



 

Finally all together...a family of 7!!  :)

 



I stand amazed...shaking my head and completely overwhelmed that God has blessed us with all of these children!...who knew???



Short Update

This update is long overdue and I apologize to those that have worried and wondered where I was and how we were fairing.  We arrived home safe and sound, with only an hour delay leaving Beijing, although our wonderful pilot made up time in the air.  Jackson slept for about 3 hours on our flight home and I managed to take several naps.  I think I was sleep walking during my layover in Vancouver!  Honestly!  I really had to focus on what I was doing, and even had airport security flag me for a more thorough search.  I think I must have looked like I was high!  lol!

Jackson loves his Daddy and siblings and is adjusting well.  He still cries a lot at night...sometimes for hours, dosing a bit in between.  I'm exhausted, but doing well...considering the lack of sleep, etc.  The other kids are doing well too...I will post more at a later date.

My wonderful friend Chantal generously took pictures of our home coming and I promise to post them asap.  Since arriving home I have been fighting a nasty stomach bug which leaves me nauseated and wanting to eat little, although the last few days have been better.  I'm sure by Monday I will be 100%.  Life has been crazy busy, with picking peas, beans, and raspberries.  The peas are about done and the beans are slowing down with producing so next week should be a bit less busy...but then it's on to catching up on weeding the trees and flowerbeds.

This weekend we are enjoying a "staycation", enjoying a relaxing weekend with no garden/yard work.  We are simply enjoying each other!  We are going on bike rides, swimming, visiting Grandma and Grandpa for a bit, having wiener roasts....kind of like life at the lake...without all the stress of packing/unpacking.  We know it is the closest we will come to a vacation this summer so we're playing hard!  :)

Good Bye China!!!

 

We are on the last stretch of our stay here in China.  Tonight we had the "Good Bye China" Party complete with Peking Duck, cake, a little show.  It is a bit of a bittersweet good bye.  I can hardly wait to go home and yet I know that in a few months I will wish that I could go back to China for just a few days.

 

Jackson continues to slowly come out of his shell.  He is beginning to babble and giggle in the hotel hallways and fusses when we go shopping.  He is trying to communicate his needs more and has become very good at pointing and taking my hand, indicating what he wants.  He has said a few words...car, mama, pee, poop, and more...all the essential words at this point!  lol!  He is even beginning to smile at others in our group.  He loves anything with wheels and discovered the "lift the flap" book I had been saving for on the flight home.  I know he'll love it as it has all kinds of interesting vehicles in it.

 

I have been trying to rock him to sleep each night and at nap, but most days he prefers to be put in the crib.  If I'm lucky he'll cuddle for a bit and sometimes even dose off.

 

Our flight leaves around 4pm, Beijing time, tomorrow afternoon. There are 3 other couples on this flight as well, so it could be an interesting flight.  Could you pray that all the babies/kids travel well, sleep well, that the flights are on schedule, and that us adults get some much needed sleep as well....thanks!

 

I arrive home at 11:40pm...late, I know, but that's in about 40 hrs...can't wait!!  :)

A Better Day

Today was a much better day.  Thank God!  I think Jackson's rage yesterday was another part of the process of grieving and today was a day of smiles and growth.  Up to this point Jackson has shown very little interest in interaction of any sort.  Even with his peers.  I've tried playing with him, being silly, and doing all the things we do to make our children laugh.  Most of the time he almost cringes when I do this.  So, I've backed off...given him space (and felt like a horrible mother!)...but it seems to have paid off.  I've had a few times where he has giggled and babbled, but today was a turning point.  He began by reaching out to touch another baby.  Then he began babbling while we were walking and at supper one of the other dads winked at Jackson and he burst out laughing, spewing water and snoot!  That seemed to be the real ice breaker.  He then began smirking, trying to get the older boys' attention and babbling.

 

I opted out of going to the Summer Palace...too hot, too many stairs, and too many people.  Instead, Jackson and I went shopping near our hotel, went for lunch, had a much need nap and then went to the acrobatic show.  As always the show was spectacular! 

 

Today was a better day for me as well.  I had a bit of a melt down yesterday and cried.  I miss my kids and hubby so much!  I wasn't sure how I would be able to handle a few more days, but somehow God has once again given me the strength to go on.  Three more sleeps and I will be in my own bed, surrounded by my sweet family!  Can't wait!  :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

A Tough Day

Today was a very long, tough day.  We headed out at 8:30 and arrived back at our hotel around 4:30pm.  Our first stop was the Jade Factory which has many incredible figurines and jewelry. 

 

Our next stop was The Great Wall of China.  It was extremely hot and humid, but the sky was quite clear for Beijing.  We travelled to the same area as we did in 2009.  However, this time I took the "easier" side.  I'm not sure if it was actually easier or if it just had more level areas and shade where we could rest and enjoy the breeze.  Jackson was fussy so I didn't go far.  I sat in the shade and held him as he slept and enjoyed the view.

 



 

 

Our next stop was the Cloisonné Factory.  We ate lunch here and also had some time to shop.  I enjoyed shopping for our traditional "trip to China" Christmas ornaments for each of the kids.  I even found some cute little gifts for Malia and Raina.

 



Our final "stop" was the 2008 Olympic Grounds.  Everyone in our group opted out of stopping so we drove past the grounds slowly. 

 

On our way to the Olympic Grounds Jackson had a major meltdown.  He wanted to stand in the aisle without me holding onto him.  Of coarse I couldn't and wouldn't allow him to do that.  He became frustrated and then very angry...kicking, screaming, making himself very stiff, hitting things, and eventually intentionally scratching his face (as you can see in the pic below)...for over 1/2 an hour.  I tried to distract him in every way possible, but he would have none of it.  I let him cry and eventually he fell asleep.  Needless to say I am exhausted!!  I miss my hubby and kids and would love to have a good cry...I'm just scared that I'll never stop it I start.  I have been doing very well, but today I am more than ready to go home...even though I dread the 11 1/2 hour flight to Vancouver with an 8 3/4 hr layover and then the 2 hour flight home.  Would you pray that these last few days would go by quickly, and that the flight home will be good...that Jackson and I both sleep well, that Jackson will remain calm, and that I don't go squirrelly!  Thanks!

 

I am trying so very hard to focus on the positive.  To enjoy each moment.  To keep busy so I don't lose my mind.  So here goes...the things I am thankful for...

 

*Jackson's overall calm spirit

*friends in this travel group that call to ask if I want to join them for supper

*being able to Skype regularly with Martin and the kids

*for a quiet room

*for a room where everything works...including the AC

*for all the folks praying for Jackson and I, and for Martin and the kids at home

*delicious Chinese food within walking distance

*that I only have 4 more sleeps till it's time to head home!!