Saturday, November 25, 2017

I'm Back!

 
I've been dreading writing this post because I wasn't sure what to write, but I think I've finally found the words.

 Back in May I decided to make my blog private again and I walked away from my blog.  My intent was to actually take the time to make my blog private and continue writing.  But with the busyness of summer, that never happened.  I sat down a few times, but never actually completed the task.  Then, a few months ago, I decided not to go private after all.

Today's post has been bouncing around in my head ever since, with many an edit!
 
I've decided that I will NOT be bullied or intimidated into silence! 

This past spring we sought out a professional, Christian counsellor.   Our counsellor is absolutely amazing and keeps us focused on healing, focused on Who we answer to, and on the One whose opinion matters. Our counsellor has been instrumental in helping us see our own hypocrisy, and where we need to have an adjustment of the heart and mind, and how we can work towards healing.  Our counsellor has also been instrumental in helping us see what has and is happening.  That we are not crazy and that what we have and are experiencing is NOT normal!  That it is in fact abuse!

We have learned that our experience is about so much more than adoption related negativity, racism, naivety, and judgement.  I will not go into detail about what is and has happened because there is no point to it.

However, I will say that each and every day we choose to forgive, to offer grace, to offer second chances, and to be grateful!  I can not emphasize enough the importance of gratefulness!  To be intentionally grateful leads to joy and joy leads to reaching out to those around us rather than keeping our eyes on our own pain and struggles.

We don't nearly always succeed and sometimes it's difficult to not shout to the world the hypocrisy and truth of our circumstances.  We struggle with the balance of saying what needs to be said, without degrading a fellow human being.  Our goal is to walk our talk, to do what we believe to be godly, to honour God in all we do. 

Best of all, we are in healthier emotional and psychological state than we have EVER been.  Better than the state we were in before we understood and had words to call our circumstances what they were.  And for that I am so very grateful!! Thank you Lord!!

I pray that all who visit here will leave feeling inspired to love more, forgive more, offer grace more, and most importantly...to love God more!

I have no idea how often I will be blogging.  Our life is super busy!  All the time!  I'm contemplating what I can let go or give up...doing laundry?  Making meals?  Cleaning the toilets?  lol!  Honestly, there's not much to cut back on.  I do know that writing is good for me.  It's my way of remembering the good, and that is therapeutic!