Remembering

I remember the day like it was yesterday.  Five years ago today we were headed to the city for a doctors appointment when we got the call..."We think you should head to the hospital.  Mom is not doing well.  We think this is it."
I remember...
...us heading to the hospital, praying we would make it in time
... rushing in tears streaming down my face
...pulling myself together before entering Mom's room
...the quiet in the room
...the peace
...seeing Mom take her last breath as she entered heaven's gates
...explaining to my 4 and 6 year old that Grandma had passed away
...hugging them tight
...literally feeling the prayers of others
...somehow having strength to do what needed to be done
...making the phone calls
...planning the funeral
...thanking God that Cancer had been defeated, that Mom had been healed
...thanking God that the ugliness of cancer was no longer my reality...the smell, the disposing of bloody vomit, the exhaustion that comes with caring for a loved one 24/7, the frantic baking to cover the smell of imminent death...
...grieving and truly understanding the saying "my heart hurts"...cause it literally did.


Today my heart is heavy as it usually is when I remember.  The pain never completely goes away although time does heal.

Today I remember my mom for the warrior she was.  Raising 13 kids, 2  miscarriages, the death of one child and still choosing to worship her Savior and smiling through it all.   Praying for her kids everyday.  Striving to live a godly life.  Not leaving her husband when most would have...choosing instead to listen to God and hear His promise of "someday your husband will be a godly man!"

Today I remember my Mom's all time favorite song "Amazing Grace".  This version is played on the bagpipes...something we normally reserve for our fallen hero's...war hero's, firefighters and such.  Today I listen to this in remembrance of my fallen hero...my Mom!









On a side note:

Today we have the added grief of my nephew and his wife, Josh and Rachel losing their little girl, Victoria Grace, after only spending an hour with her.   (Victoria Grace was born with the majority of her organs outside of her body.  I believe it is called ompholocele)  We pray for precious Elizabeth Andrea, born at 30 weeks, as she fights for her life...and for Josh and Rachel as they try to take it all in, grieve and celebrate, worry and wait.  Would you please join us in praying...it makes everything so much more doable.  Thanks!