There is a Need

You ever have one of those "Ah ha" moments that Opr*h talks about?  I have numerous times.  Today I had another one of those moments. 

 

 I've been really down on myself lately.  Actually, more down on how sinful I really am.  Sometimes I feel so dirty and icky.  Not because I've sinned some "big" sin, but rather because of the Holy Spirits' nudging that something isn't right in my life.  I find it difficult to actually pinpoint what it is...usually because I really don't want to admit my sinful behaviour/thoughts/beliefs. 

It began with a discussion on FB in regards to raising funds for an adoption.  As you know, I've had many a moment of being discouraged about our finances.  Especially during and after an adoption.  Well, in this conversation on FB, I mentioned the burden of 2 of our adoptions resulting in major debt.  I'm guessing I was the "water on the fire" so speak.  I honestly didn't mean to be.  I'm sorry if I was.  I felt bad for my response.  Something about the conversation stuck with me...but I couldn't put my finger on it...until I listened to this....

Let me just say that I have long prided myself in not believing the lies of the Prosperity Gospel.  Oh,oh!  Did you catch that?  Sin number one.  Pride.  Anyhow, this short little video made me wonder if any of my beliefs are a complete lie.

 

If you don't mind, I'd like to back track a bit.  I grew up being taught that God does not give us more than we can handle.  I've often heard the expression given to those who have lost someone or something.  Us evangelicals are very good at explaining all the unpleasant and horrible things that happen to us.  I'm willing to bet that most of them are lies.  And I know first hand, that most of the lines we use are of very little comfort to those grieving or in a crisis.

 

It was only after losing my parents within a year and a half, that I really understood this to be a lie.  Watching a parent die a painful, ugly, yellow skinned, disgusting smells,  sunken eyes kind of a death is not pleasant.  It is horrific.  The images are forever etched in my memory.  It was more than I could handle.  And yet somehow "I" handled it.  I'm alive.  I live a mostly content and happy life.  But it's not "I" that helped me.  When I was at that "down in the dumps, life is absolutely horrible, I'm gonna have a break down, bottom of the pit"  place...GOD took over!  GOD handled all the stuff I couldn't!  It still amazes me!  I have come to realize that when I give it all to God...that is when true worship happens.  It is when true peace is felt.  It is when God's love is most evident in my life.  However, I still find myself trying to "handle" things on my own.  Which takes me back to where I started.  The conversation on FB about raising funds for an adoption.

 

In all of our adoptions I have heard "God will provide", or "You'll have all the money you need, when you need it".  I think most people say it because it's what we've been taught to believe.  I know the Bible clearly says that God will provide all of our needs.  So does that mean He will provide all the money we need, when we need it?  I would venture to say the answer is "no".  Perhaps I'm wrong.  Perhaps I'm not.  Hear me out...

 

From my experience, the money isn't nearly always there when we need it.  Not even for an adoption, which we would probably all agree is a direct reflection of God adopting us as His daughters and sons.  That has been the case for us.  I've often wondered why?  Where we bad stewards of our money?  Did we lack faith?...and the list goes on.  Truth be told...we manage our money as best as we know how and we have as much faith as we know how.  We live our lives as best as we know how.  So...is it possible that in ALL of this God is trying to teach me to make HIM my ALL.  That ALL I need is HIM?

 

Here's the interesting thing...we have always had food, warmth, a roof over our heads.  Everything we needed to stay alive.  We say it's because He has provided.   Imagine with me for a bit.  What if we lived in Haiti?  Or Africa?  What if we died from starvation?  Would we still believe that God always provides the money when we need it?  Or the food when we need it?  Ummm...we "died"!  Obviously, the money and food weren't there.  Does that make God less than He is?  I don't think so!  It still makes Him who He says He is!  After all, doesn't our life truly begin when we see him face to face and live forever in Paradise?  I happen to think it does...not because "I" believe it, but because the Bible says so.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that perhaps the line "God will provide all the money you need when you need it" is a lie.  That perhaps the focus should be "will our faith in God grow or shatter if we don't get what we need?"  And hopefully our lives will show growth.  Perhaps it takes more faith to trust God when we don't "have" or get what we "need", than it does to have all of our "needs" met. 

 

The interesting thing is this...

 

...had I known we would face this kind of debt load, would I still have brought my children home?   The answer is a resounding YES!!!!!!

 

...coming to this realization makes me feel free.  I'm not worried about our debt anymore. (at least for now...I know the moments will come when I will be tempted to doubt, but I will have stronger ammunition with which to fight my sinful thoughts!)

...somehow God's promises always come true!  He really does work all things for good to those that love Him!  Yes, we have debt...but who really cares?  My kids are safe at home, not in some orphanage/foster home waiting for us.  And that my friends is worth it!

...generally it's the people that believe God will provide if you do the right things, that are the least willing to help out.  I suppose it shows where "your treasure is, there your heart will also be".

I'll sum this up by saying this...if you happen to know someone in the midst of something...whether it be an adoption, foster care, missions trip, or simply everyday life...and they ask for your help...please, I beg you, please help!  Most people do not ask for help unless they desperately need it.  It takes an awful lot of "need" to ask for help.  And even if you think they don't need your help, ask yourself this question...can you go wrong by helping out?  Are you judging the person in how they handle their time, finances, life?  If so, you're probably in the wrong.  1 Corinthians 13 gives us a very clear picture of what love looks like.    And last of all...I'll ask the question again....can you really go wrong by lending a hand?...probably not!  We can not go wrong by loving others.