After "The Drop Box"

 

It's been a few weeks since we went to see The Drop Box.  I've been trying to process all that I saw. Truthfully, I'm having a hard time. 

 

During the movie I felt rather numb.  Initially, the lack of "feeling" bothered me.  Until I realized that it is a completely normal response.  Or at least for me it is.  When I witness something tragic, sad, or horrific, I tend to absorb what I am seeing or experiencing in a numb state.  It's my way of not becoming overwhelmed and losing it.  It's my bodies way of dealing with hard stuff.  I suppose it's the "fight, flight or freeze" response. 

 

 And then...it all hit me like a ton of bricks!  The whole documentary still tears at my heart and I can't help but get emotional when I think about it all.

 

So why the heart wrenching, pain in my gut kinda feeling weeks after watching the documentary?

 

Well, you see, there are several reasons. 

 

First of all it really bothered me that Pastor Lee and his wife do not have enough support.  I know there is a huge body of believers in Korea and around the world that more than capable of helping out.  But the reality is that most people either don't truly understand the need, or they know of the need and promptly forget because life takes over (it's actually called selfishness...and how do I know that, you may ask?...I know because I see it in my own life!), or they don't know where to start, and give up, or they decide to do the "biggest" and most "godly" thing they can do...pray and leave it at that.    You see, prayer is fantastic!  It's communicating with God! But when all we do is pray...well, quit honestly it's usually quite ineffective. The heartfelt, fervent prayer produces much.  (James 5:16) It produces action of some sort.  And then there are those that have the misguided belief that "God cares for the orphan" or that we have a government system in place to care for these kids.   I think it's time too call all of this what it really is...sin!

 

It may feel like a slap in the face (aka...conviction of the heart), to hear it said that our inaction is sin and that it's high time we ALL step up and do more! 

 

Now that doesn't mean we should all adopt, foster, or go into "missions".  What it does mean is that we all start doing more than just pray.  It's time to step out of our comfort zone, and prayerfully ask God to show us where and when to take action.  It's time to defend the less fortunate with words and actions.

 

 

The second reason for this sick feeling in my gut weeks after watching the movie... in so many ways, our story and that of our kids, is so similar to The Drop Box.  In so many ways it is our reality.  I can hardly stand the knowing.  Knowing that my kids' birth parents made gut wrenching and heart breaking decisions.  Knowing that my kids have experienced incredible loss that will always be a part of their story.  Knowing that what we see daily in our kid's lives is a direct reflection of that loss.  Knowing that I can never completely replace that which was stolen from my kids.

 

You see, when you ask God to break your heart for what breaks His...you'll never be the same!  There is incredible pain.  There is incredible struggle.  There is incredible loss.  This pain, struggle, and loss comes in so many forms...relationships, emotional, spiritual, physical, financial...in fact every aspect of life. I see it in our life and I saw it in the movie.  All the opposition Pastor Lee faced.  Losing vital support for his disabled son.  Losing his health to fight for these kids. Perhaps Pastor Lee's son summed it up best when he described their home as "heaven", and when asked what it's like when the bell in the drop box rings, he said something along the line of "hell coming into heaven".  It about took my breath away.  You see, when you do something for the less fortunate, especially the most vulnerable of people...little kids...satan really does work extra hard to try to destroy.  He really does try to make our "heaven" a living hell.

 

 But that's not where the story ends.  There is redemption!  There is grace!  And there is beauty! 

 

I also saw this in the movie.  In each of the faces of Pastor Lee's kids.  In Pastor Lee's face.  And in the face of the director, Brian Ivie.  (As you may know, Brian Ivie accepted Christ as his Saviour during the making of this film)  You can check it out here.  http://dropbox.focusonthefamily.ca/behind-the-story

 

 I see this beauty in my life.  I see it daily as I parent my precious kids.  I see this beauty in their faces.  I see how they love and are loved.  I see how they are growing in love for God.  I see how their love for God impacts their daily decisions and actions.  I see how this decision to adopt has impacted my homegrown boys.  They are better young men for it.   I see their fierce protection of their younger siblings.  I see how they are willing to give of themselves even when it costs them something. 

 

I see it in Martin and I see it in myself.  Our priorities and goals have changed.  Our life's dreams have changed.  And this thing called love is beginning to not only make more sense to us, but I can feel it slowly growing and growing in us.  Growing in love for our God.  Growing in love for others.

 

Morgun (my 13 year old son) wrote about The Drop Box in his journal.  Here is a bit of what he had to say.

 

"It was probably one of the most interesting movies I have ever seen.  It meant something. Most movies are pointless; just there to waste your time.  A person can research and watch stuff like "The Drop Box", but you can't fully understand what those people go through until you go through the same thing."

 

My prayer is that this movie will be the catalyst for moving people to action.