We're Home

We are home, safe and sound...an expression that has taken on a whole new meaning after being in Haiti.  I am extremely fatigued and emotionally drained. I could cry at the drop of a hat.  My brain and heart are working overtime to try and sort through all I have seen, smelled, heard, and felt...not an easy task.  Everytime I begin, I am in tears...
How do I even begin to tell people what I experienced when I myself can not make sense of it all?  I wonder what God's purpose is in sending us to Haiti.  I wonder if little Franz...who I must say has the most gorgeous eyes and lashes I have ever seen...is finally feeling better...if my new hero, Susan, has been able to deal with losing a fragile little one...it hurt me so badly and I didn't even know the little one.  How does she do it time and time again?  I wonder if sweet little M, with downs syndrome, will soon find a forever family...if silent withdrawn K will find her way around the big kids house.  She seemed so very much in need of protection...

I'm not sure how long it will take for me to post more.  During the week we were in Haiti I only broke down twice...for less than a minute.  I pulled myself together time and time again.  All our time was spent together and we did discuss many things, but somehow the heart wrenching moments were avoided.  As a group we laughed a lot and joked around a good deal of the time.  I know it was what my heart needed at the time.  I fell into bed exhausted each night...around 8 or 9pm, tossed and turned all night, waking every half hour or so, and had an early start each morning.  Somehow, I was able to, for the most part, bury all these deep thoughts, and for that I am grateful.  It was not the time or place to have a melt down or to sort through everything.  I am praying that in the next days and weeks, as I try to make sense of everything, that I will hear God's voice and feel his comfort and know strength that can only come from Him.